My Be-Wilder:ing Blog

about that meme about vaginas and balls and the term ‘pussy’

Yet again a conversation has been overheard and misunderstood by some women, and most men in this case.

Sorry to my dearly beloved woman friends, I misinterpret what you say to each other too sometimes.

So.  I am here to clear it up.

This meme is a twist of an actresses quote:

“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
Betty White

and of course some of the memes going around are along the lines of:

‘how is it to have balls is to be tough, yet to flick them can bring a man to his knees, yet a pussy can take a pounding and its viewed as being weak’

well, that is men talking to men being overheard and misinterpreted.  Got nothing really to do with women.  But, if you must know, to have balls is to stand in your fragility.  to be vulnerable, exposed, ‘on the outside’ with your truth.   the physical balls exemplify the vulnerability of authenticity.

The balls have an energy of their own that is activated when men are at their edge.  It is experienced whenever risk is at play, and assertion.

Some men shirk from it, some hunger for it, but it is a combination of power and vulnerability, and when a man is invoked to ‘grow some balls’ it is about the courage to do, despite fragility and vulnerability.

The balls in a woman are internalised so such sensitivity is never experienced, as Betty suggests.

In that vein, To be a pussy is to be ‘an internal man’ – a man that withdraws within when pushed by life, does not step forward into that edge energy to do or say or try something new, usually to do with assertiveness.  I have been a pussy so know.  I actually felt it, in my gender.  I felt my masculine so absent of welcome space in the world and so absent of practice that it was ‘folded inwards’ and i truly felt like a pussy, energetically.

I admit some men use the terms in derogation, but I claim them in their positive and true sense and reclaim the strength of the balls, in their fragility, their vulnerability and all their treasures, and the recognition of a pussy as a man who may want help to access and express his masculinity.

I have been a pussy, a dick and now I aspire to be a Total Knob: a dick (fool to my truth), with balls (the courage to act on that, with,in fragility).

++ Take Charge, Be Positive ++

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